I'm going to recount for you the dream I had the other night, or rather morning, after Dan so generously looked after Joseph while I got a little more sleep. You may or may not think I'm clinically insane by the end. You may or may not believe it. But, believe me, you just can't make this stuff up.

****************************************************

I was on my way to a movie theatre with my Mom, Blaise, Ben, and Madelaine. As we pulled into the parking lot, we decided we'd go see a movie that was something like The Incredibles. We parked the van.

No sooner were we out of the vehicle then Mom turned to a woman who had just pulled in beside us to ask if she, by any chance, was wearing a costume like that of the actors in this particular movie. Yes, indeed she was, she told Mom, opening her heavy coat to reveal something like the spandex suit worn by Mrs. Incredible, complete with a cape. And would she like to exchange outfits with Mom? Sure. They decided to make the swap right then and there. I couldn't figure why she wanted to swap as Mom was wearing ordinary clothes, but then -- whatever.

Leaving Mom near the van, I headed into the theatre to catch up with my younger brothers. They had already paid for their tickets and passed through the security gate, so I avoided the box office line and tried to lean my way over the security line without touching the other side with my feet, in the hopes of seeing the boys and calling to arrange a meeting spot. Suddenly, one of my feet was picked right up off the ground and raised high in the air, with the other end of my body down near the ground. A large teenage security guard accosted me in a loud voice, asking me how I dared to breach the security in such a way. After regaining my footing, I stood my ground and emphatically told him that I was simply looking for my brothers, who I named and gave ages for (interestingly, I told him they were 13 and 11). In addition, I added, I was not the type of person he had to be worried about because I was in my twenties and had a university degree. Take that, you twirp!

When I was finally released after some debate back and forth, I rejoined Mom (now in her borrowed costume) in the ticket line. We bought our tickets and then chatted with the woman from the parking lot, who was sitting with her family in a cafeteria area. Then it was time to get our tickets ripped and head to our movie. While in line Mom somehow realized her ticket was stamped to read that she was owed a refund of $20. But it was too late to turn around and deal with that, so we tore off part of the ticket to attempt recovery later and carried on.

We asked another teenage worker whether our movie was in Room 4 or 5. He didn't know, so I headed over to peek my head in Room 4. Bright lights and blaring speakers greeted me and whatever was on the huge screen immediately convinced me it was the wrong room.

Finally arriving at Room 5, I found I was carrying a very heavy Joseph (huh?). We walked into the room and where there should have been a ramp of some sort leading to seats, instead was a huge, steep stairway. I have never seen a stairway so steep. And we had to walk down the stairs until we were directly in front of the huge screen. Now, when I say walk down it was more like hugging the stairs as we inched our way. Thankfully, there were many railings at every height imaginable along the side and so we grasped them as we nearly fell to the bottom.

Once in front of the screen, I found I was not the only one with a baby in the theatre. Another lady had her little daughter sleeping on her chest. The baby's ear facing out was covered by a small blue knitted cloth of some sort. Oh, is that how you keep babies from hearing all the noise? I thought, grimacing at the loudness. I smiled at the woman and faced the nearly-as-steep climb that was railing-less to where my brothers had decided to sit. It took all the effort I could muster to climb those stairs, while still holding Joseph. Our movie had already started.

Upon arriving at our seats, I discovered that sitting at this height you had to literally look down and crane your neck to get a good glimpse of the screen. There was no way I could sit here, especially with Joseph! But my brothers were adamant they were the best seats. Meanwhile, Madelaine arrived (I have no idea where she was gone all this time) with a friend. They somehow avoided the stairs altogether and slipped through the railings between the door and our seats. Ignoring this fact, I began to make the descent again to find better seats.

I found the lady with the sleeping baby girl at the bottom again. I began asking her where I might find a good spot to sit with my baby. Then I noticed that she was accompanied by her husband and young son. Their toddler-son was standing on his seat next to his father, walking around and dancing -- but he had his eyes shut and was sound asleep. At this point I decided that this couple was weird and not-to-be-trusted as they were crazy enough to take their kids to the movies instead of putting them to bed. Upon seeing the spot-for-sitting-with-a-baby that the lady pointed out and instantly realizing it was no good, I also had the presence of mind to realize I too had a baby in the theatre and should just go home.

I left and promptly woke up.

"Mum"

We're still having a hard time getting enough sleep. We start out in our respective beds each night, but somehow Joseph and I inevitably end up in our bed and Dan's gone upstairs by the wee hours of the morning (ok, at the latest sometime shortly after midnight) to attempt a better night's rest.

Last night was no different. At some point, Joseph fell asleep with his bottom half on our bed, while his head and shoulders were a few inches lower on his crib that's attached to our bed. It didn't last long and somewhere around 3:30am Joseph woke again (for the hundredth time??), sat up, and crawled over to where I was unsuccessfully attempting to sleep, or at least fake sleep, through his restlessness. He laid his little head down on my pillow right against mine. He started patting my hair, happily pulling it a bit. Then I heard his sleepy little voice say, "Mu-um, Mum."

You would learn my name in the middle of the night, wouldn't you, Joseph?! Of course, my heart melted and I couldn't help smiling. We were more or less awake for the next 2 1/2 hrs, with Joseph falling asleep briefly (even sitting up with only his head resting on the blankets) only to wake again. But each time he woke he came crawling back over to me, sweetly saying, "Mum, Mum, Mum."

Now, how could I be upset at losing a night's sleep, again, with such cuteness?

Sleep Deprivation

I'm right, you're wrong. End of story!

Dan and I haven't slept through the night in the same bed in a couple months. Except perhaps once or twice. Seriously. And we haven't slept through the night period in a very long time.

We used to have the "perfect" baby: Joseph would go to bed at 8-9pm, wake up at 2-3am, then sleep again until 7am. Perfect. Yeah, right. Then he decided he liked our bed better than his (we also figured he'd grown out of his wonderful little rocking cradle when he swung it into the wall one night!). And he liked our bed all to himself, sleeping sideways or diagonally, both arms and legs outstretched.

Naturally, either Dan or I gave up on fitting on our queen size bed and moved to the couch. We had a sleeping bag permanently in our living room the last few weeks we lived in Ancaster and it got used every night. First we put off his sleeplessness as teething, then when we arrived in Nipawin it was an ear infection, then a cold. But, really, these excuses are starting to go too far!

On top of all this, the little stinker has figured out that we get pretty annoyed pretty quickly if he starts screaming and crying in the middle of the night. If he gets his own way quicker, he's likely to learn very fast from the success. Now he's got us on his own "schedule" of waking every two hours. Yes, every two hours! And to top that off, playtime at 4 or 5am when he's up for it is just his piece of cake. And did I mention that when he is sleeping he wiggles, fidgets, and taps one foot so that it's nearly impossible for us to get back to sleep?

You see, it's all this big masterful ploy to keep us as sleep deprived as he can get us so we try anything and everything to satisfy his whims. We've figured him out and and he's not going to get his way any longer!

Does anyone know where we can find a queen size baby crib???