An apparently typical scene at our house, er, school. We have some serious issues here.

Here's the five year old Joseph teaching the 2 year old John Paul.


Joseph: "I'm going to teach you how to count to 100 by 10s: 10. 20. 30. 50. 60.."

John Paul: "No! 40!"

- - -

Joseph's not supposed to know how to count by 10s yet. That's next year. Follow the curriculum already!

John Paul? What are we going to do with him. Interrupting others. Tsk Tsk Tsk. Where's the self-regulation? Where's the empathy towards Joseph? Joseph needs empowering, not bullying.

Big issues. indeed.

How to change a lightbulb

Maybe you've seen this before...


How does a homeschooler change a lightbulb?

"First, Mom checks three books on electricity out of the library. Then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison, and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. After that, everyone takes a trip to the store, where they compare types of light bulbs, as well as prices, and figures out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five-dollar bill. On the way home a discussion ensues about the history of money and also about Abraham Lincoln, since his picture is on the five-dollar bill. Finally, after a homemade ladder is built out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed. And there is light."



Well, let me give a new one for you. Do you know how a lightbulb gets changed at a public school?

First a light goes out. For several days all who pass by pretend as if they do not notice. Finally a wisecracker kid speaks up that the light needs changing. A grumpy teacher then writes up and enters a help ticket on the computer which includes a 10 minute form answering various unrelated questions to the lightbulb. Then an email concerning the lightbulb is sent out to several people, including all admin, custodians, and division maintenance employees. The help ticket is then ignored for four weeks. The lack of light soon becomes unbearable for one rebel teacher, who then sneaks into a broom closet and finds, hiding behind cleaning chemicals, a matching lightbulb. The teacher changes the lightbulb, and there is light. Upon exiting the room a fellow teacher notices the changing of the lightbulb. Soon others are notified and the guilty teacher is chided by the school union rep for doing a duty which, by its very nature, will be taking a job away from a fellow union employee. Children will starve. Chaos and anarchy will reign. Days later a maintenance man shows up, looking for the lightbulb that needs changing. He spends 30 minutes looking for the lightbulb. Being unsuccessful, he has admin join him for another fruitless 30 minutes of searching. Finally everyone gives up. A general warning is sent to all staff to take such school maintenance help tickets seriously. Additionally, the computer help ticket software system is thrown all out of wack by the unfulfilled lightbulb request, and so IT staff are called in to fix the confusion. The teacher spends the rest of the week walking around the school as if he were a convicted criminal. And then he notices another burnt out lightbulb... and keeps walking.

*loosely based on real life*

Johnny Be Good

"Johnny!!! You hit Bobby in the face, pushed him to the ground, jumped repeatedly on his back, gave him The Peoples' Elbow, and then stole his toy tractor... was that a good choice or a bad choice?"

"Um... *looking at teacher as if she has two heads* ...um... a bad choice?"

"Right, a bad choice. You need to make good choices. Ok?"

"Right. Good choices. Can I go play with this tractor now?"

The preceding conversation, or words to that effect, I've heard far too often at school. I've talked about it before, but it seems to get worse. Permit me a little philosophical play here.

Every time a child does something bad they are told to consider the choice they made with their bad action. The child is then grilled until they can admit it was a bad choice. Afterwards they are reminded that they need to make good choices, not bad choices. The child is not bad. Just his choices. Do good choices. Avoid evil choices.

We make choices based on the good, or an apparent good. We always choose what we think is a good. Think about that. Even if you decided to do something purely based on it being bad, and you wanted that action to be bad... you would still see some apparent good in doing so. Thus, one always acts towards an apparent good. A child hits, pushes, jumps on a kid, and steals his toy tractor because he thinks it is good for him to have the tractor, cost what may.

What is missing from the situation (besides God, of course, but this is a public institution where there can be no mention of God, or religion... except when it comes to the darling yoga)... sorry, what is missing from the situation is being. Why make good choices? Well, when choices are separated from being, there is a logical disconnect. Hence the child staring blankly at the teacher, completely unaffected by a few words about good choices. The child's look is really saying: "Are you suggesting my actions are ontologically separated from me?"

There is an old scholastic axiom: Operari sequitur esse - Action follows being. Our choices come from an intellect/will tandem. Our intellect processes, debates and rationalizes, even for a split second, and presents the case to our will. The will chooses an apparent good. Note that our intellect and our will are the highest powers of our soul. We are rational beings. This is actually quite amazing. Our choices, then, bear the dignity, and responsibility, of being partakers of the image of God.

Going back to bad bad Johnny (all bad kids in examples are named Johnny, so don't name your child Johnny). What Johnny did was not some act separated from who he is. Not some mere choice, but rather a choice in fact made from the highest powers of his soul, being, and ultimately body. Johnny made a bad choice, yes. Johnny in fact sinned. He offended God, self, and neighbour. However, clearly we cannot hear the following at a public school:

"Johnny! You did all of this to Bobby! This is sinful! Depending on your morose delectation, and the gravity of hurt inflicted, quite possibly a grave sin! I will call Father Con Fessio immediately!"

While that won't happen, we still must refrain from separating choice from being; a modern day Cartesian "ghost in the machine." Rather, a child who treats others wrong, and yes makes bad choices, must know that he, his whole person, is responsible...

"Johnny! You did all of this to Bobby!" You KNOW that was wrong! You deliberately hurt Bobby badly in order to steal from him. You will be punished for this, and afterwards you will be making an appropriate apology to Bobby. If you can't control yourself, you won't be playing with others, simple as that."

*Johnny ashamedly looks up at the teacher as the gravity of what he did starts to sink in. But it all makes sense to him.*

Yes. Makes sense to him. Common sense.

If you choose it.

What it is like to teach

Imagine yourself in front of a class of eager young learners. You explain a lesson on, say, the respiratory system. The children are engaged. They ask good questions. They love the hands on demonstrations. The next day you give a review before going on to teach the circulatory system. They are quick to demonstrate their learning. You reinforce everything with another fun respiratory activity. Later a quiz shows that learning was accomplished. What an innately rewarding feeling!

Now wake up. Picture yourself in reality. At a real school. The way things really are.

Say you're in front of a class of 28 students. Check that, three kids are missing. One hasn't been at school all week. It's cramped. Tight. You start teaching on, say, how to use quotation marks properly. The focus will be on using them when writing narratives. The lesson begins with silly examples of how confusing it would be to not have quotation marks. Then, using an internet website designed for this, brief examples are given of how to use quotation marks properly. Cancel that.
The computer slows to a hault. No matter. You wing it. Soon you have students helping you with sentences on the board. Then you give difficult examples for groups to work on. Later you discuss. Afterwards individual exercises are given. The entire lesson take twenty-five minutes. Students who finish early can start planning for their narrative project. Well done.

Except...
During your lesson two of your students are bored to tears. They know this already. For crying out loud they entered kindergarten already knowing how to read! About five of your students caught on right away, and are already on their way to mastering quotation marks. Twelve of your students seemed to be doing alright, but are going to need quite a bit more practice. Four of your students seemed utterly lost. If you work with them, and I mean dedicate 95% of your time to them alone during your narrative writing project, they might, might, make slight progress. But it's difficult when you read at a level that is three classes below grade level. Then there are the final two students. They don't understand. They cannot read. One sort of wants to learn. The other simply hates being in school, and only shows a semblance of working when you're around. Things are not good.

But wait, the two highest students are bored. They ask for some help on their narrative project. They want to write at a level significantly above grade level. You rip yourself away from the lowest students to see what you can do. You look up, and you see no fewer than eight hands up, looking for help. Instead of helping them you send your two highest students out to go help the others. Later you discover these two students weren't helping properly. They were saying quotation marks are only used when more than one person is speaking in a paragraph. So you call everyone to attention to correct the mistake. The weaker students are fooling around. Once again some get the concept, others do not.

The next day you try to review quotation marks. Some are bored. Some don't have a clue. Two kids who weren't there yesterday are there today. One is not a strong reader, and looks up at you hopelessly. A new student also arrives. This students is upset about some family problems and defiantly does not respond to what you are saying. Lo and behold, the two smart students have already finished their narrative project and are asking what they can do now. Half the class has not even started the project yet. It will take some three weeks to complete. You tell the two students who are finished to help others for ten minutes, before they can play "educational games" on the computer for the rest of the class. You promise them that tomorrow you will have a new assignment for them. Once again you look up to see ten hands up. You go to the first student you see. He says he doesn't know what to do. Even though you've explained it four times already. You tell him you want to speak to him in the hallway immediately. On your way out no fewer than five different students shout your name desperately while you walk to discuss work ethic with the slacking student. This continues.

And that's a good day. No puking. No blowups from the anger-student. No tears to deal with. Hopefully this continues the next day.

Eventually you wonder why the school even bothers calling each grade by a specific number. No one fails. Each grade is realistically composed of 5-7 different grades. Just call it the 2006 Born Class, and so on. You wonder why you even bother teaching. This sucks.

And then one student comes up to you. She has been working diligently the entire time. You look over her work with her, the heck with all the other students. She has many mistakes. But, BUT, wow! she's improved so much! Her hard work pays off. She's proud of what she's done. So are you. With a smile you tell the students to get ready for recess.


*repeat every day* 


That's what it's like to teach.