You would think that since I had last week off I would have blogged more. Sadly, I think I was busier on my week off then I would have been had I been at work. Becca is quite the taskmaster! I did spend most of my time working on essays and such, but Becca did also put me to work in regard to one key area: decluttering.

I was given the very specific instruction to go through all my "stuff" and keep only what would amount to one box of memorabilia. How cruel! Doesn't Becca know that my Senior novice "C" side runner up trophy is like a part of me? Or that the Prince Albert Raiders hockey program from that game back in 1994 is what anchors me in life? Well, out they went. All in all, I ended up throwing many bags of non-garbage out. Our empty-box room now has several new additions to it.

You mean you don't have an empty-box room?

Perhaps the most difficult item to throw out was my University of Saskatchewan Huskies shirt. I've had it since I was 16 (Sixteen! It's practically my identity!), and worn it frequently. 

I guess "worn" is a good word. It is now borderline see-through...

Hi Joseph!

Hi Joseph again!

Sigh, so I gave it one last workout before sadly placing it in its' grave.

I can hardly wait until my next week off...

We have a TENT in our living room!

"We have a tent in our living room," I told my mother-in-law this morning.
"Ah, that's nice," she replied. "Blankets and chairs all over?"

Uh, no! A TENT! See?

I was on the computer this morning and kept getting interrupted by Joseph (nothing new there). Dan was playing with him, but he just kept wanting Mommy. Then suddenly Joseph stopped coming in and I knew they had some project underway. But, I didn't expect to find a full-blown tent in our living room! 

"It's the only way I could keep him distracted," Dan replied to my surprise.

Daddy and Joseph running in the tent

My husband sure goes all-out for our little man's enjoyment

Hey, having a tent in your living room is awesome! I mean, it barely fits and you have to walk around through the kitchen to get to the other side, but the joy it gave one little man was well worth it. I contemplate every once in a while the ends we go to to impress and have fun with our 17 month old -- he's not going to remember it, but that sure doesn't stop us!

This picture does not at all capture his sentiments, but I thought it was cute

That's more like it!

Classic Joseph

A Visit with Eddie Russ

This past Monday I was going to blog about an event that took place at our school. But, given the extraordinary circumstances of the day (see the previous blog post), I decided to delay this blog until now.

On Monday afternoon Eddie Russ, defensive back for the Riders, showed up at our school to give a talk on bullying, leadership, and respecting others. In preparation I had my class decorate our room for him. One of things we did was create mini Roughrider footballs with a handwritten message cheering the Riders on. As luck would have it, my superintendent showed up to observe me just as we began the project. He didn't seem to mind at all though.

We also decorated our white board.

Now our room, and hallway, is totally decked out in Rider stuff.

Well Eddie showed up and gave an awesome talk! I was struck by how enthusiastic and full of life he was, and by how young he looked (he's 24, but seems like a little kid). 

He gave a great talk on bullying, and even explained that he was bullied as a kid because he was skinny, had glasses, and came from a very poor family. He also talked about how important his Christian faith is to him, despite this being a public school. I was very impressed with this. He then showed the school why he had to stop playing receiver and instead play defense (basically half of his one thumb goes one way, the other half goes the another way). Afterwards Eddie went around and high-fived every kid in the school. I hope he washed his hands after. I was able to have come to my class for a quick minute to see all our decorations. He even autographed our Riderville class poster!

Needless to say it was a great visit. Thanks #16.

Our Shepherd

I remember being crammed into the T.V. room at the Barry's Bay rectory on April 19, 2005. I was there with a large portion of staff and students from the Academy. The exams had been cancelled that afternoon as word got out that "white smoke" had risen from the Vatican. It wasn't long after that a smiling Joseph Ratzinger, check that, Benedict XVI, walked out. Oh the cheers in the rectory! People were shouting with delight... like a Companions of the Cross Healing Mass! High-fives! Fist-pumps! Absolute joy and peace filled the room. We knew the Church was in fine hands.

I never understood the joy I felt that day, nearly 8 years ago, until this past year. It all began with last Holy Week. Becca and I decided to read Pope Benedict's 2nd book on the life of Jesus where the Pope teaches about Jesus and what his death really means for us. It was perhaps the most spiritually enriching Holy Week I have ever experienced. To put it mildly, Becca and I were filled with amazement and admiration. Yes, admiration for what Jesus had done, but also admiration for that German Shepherd who opened up these mysteries to us in a new and remarkable way.

As luck would have it, this past summer I resumed my Masters studies. Two courses in particular stood out for me: Liturgical History and Christology (Fall course). In Liturgical History I had a very intense young professor who pushed me to learn, in great depth, the rich history of the Church's worship. Suddenly all of the Philosophy, Theology, History, and even Latin, that I have studied previously made sense in a completely new way! After this course, my Christology course was a God-send. I learned Christology from the teachings of Aquinas... and a certain Pope Benedict XVI. Yes! Finally I could see that what Pope Benedict writes, especially on the mystery of Christ and how it relates to the Mass, is so utterly profound, yet oh so simple. Well, I just grew to love the Pope to pieces. Becca has heard me say frequently in the past few months: "Pope Benedict is, I think, the greatest theologian to come around since St. Thomas Aquinas!... And I don't say that lightly!" One of Becca and my favourite past-times since this last Holy Week has been to sit around discussing, with great admiration and enthusiasm, just how wonderful our beloved Pope is; as a teacher, a shepherd, and an example.

I'll repeat what I said earlier one more time: I think that Pope Benedict XVI is the greatest theologian to come along since St. Thomas Aquinas.

And because of this, and so many other reasons, yesterday hurt so much. Oh it hurts. We're going to miss him so much. It's almost as if Becca and I are good friends with him. Yet it is even greater than that. In this barren land of rural Saskatchewan where confession, much less spiritual direction, is nearly impossible to come by, Pope Benedict has been our mentor and guide. He has been the one constant Catholic person in our lives that keeps us inspired. When our liturgies are loud and obnoxious, and it seems no one is interested in praying or studying the faith anymore, Pope Benedict has been there for us. He has gently affirmed in us that yes, we are indeed fighting the good fight. We are on the side of Truth. He teaches, he shepherds. He's always been there for us. We love our Pope dearly.

Yesterday we began to feel that indescribable feeling of loss. I have only felt it once before... when Blessed John Paul II died. It feels as though your rock, your visible anchor, is being removed from your life. And, of course, that is exactly what happens.

But God does not leave us. Jesus said "I am with you ever more." The Holy Spirit will guide the Church and we, once again, will experience great joy at the unveiling of a new Pope! Perhaps, might I be so bold to suggest, it will be an African Pope.

In the meantime, we must pray for Pope Benedict. Speculation is that he has a serious heart ailment. He's getting old and weak and needs to spend his final days, or years, in prayer and general solitude. I just want to invite him to live with us. He could have the spare room downstairs where it is quiet and peaceful. We would set up a chapel in another spare room for daily Mass. He could pray and write. And I think he'd love Joseph, or the little Joseph. How cute to have them around together. They'd be best friends. Joseph already recognizes him and calls out "Pah!" when he sees his picture. I guess we'll have to teach him a new picture come Easter time. Pray for our future Pope.

It will be difficult when I attend my final Mass of February and knowingly hear, for the last time, the prayers after the consecration where we pray for "our Holy Father Pope Benedict..." And then the Papal ring will be smashed. Joseph Ratzinger will quietly leave the Vatican. Possibly in a black cassock, just as he entered the Vatican back in April of 2005 (unknowingly to everyone else who was wondering where the new Pope had gone... he just went back to his apartment to get his stuff!).

Quiet. Unassuming.

Our Shepherd.

7 Snippets: Stuff Joseph Says

{one}

Joseph uses the French l'eau for water. I think we interchangeably used both the French and English words in speaking to him, but he always uses the French now -- maybe it's just easier to say. Normally, Joseph's l'eau sounds a little more like zl'eau and is used primarily to ask for a drink. But he knows bathwater is also l'eau and so decided the other night to wish the bathwater bye-bye with Daddy. "Bye, zl'eau"

{two}

For a while now, Joseph has liked tasting our juice on the one or two occasions during the week that we drink it. It's a liquid that one drinks, so inevitably he called it l'eau. So recently Dan started teaching him that it's jus. Now all we hear during our Friday omelets or Sunday brunches is, "l'eau...jus" interchangeably as he points desperately to our glasses.

Dan taking shots at Joseph, er, playing hockey with Joseph

{three}

Daddy or Danny? We're not really sure which it is that Joseph calls his Daddio. Dan swears it's "Danny", while I still think it's his version of "Daddy" and Dan just hears what he wants to hear. It is some combination of "Dadny" though. And, perhaps in favour of Dan's opinion, Joseph does know who "Danny" is.

{four}

One of Joseph's favourite things to do, oddly enough, is say "good-bye". In fact, saying bye to someone and waving at the window is almost as exciting as when someone arrives to see us. Every day when Dan comes home for lunch {yes, aren't we lucky to have Daddy come home for lunch everyday!} Joseph is wriggling to get out of his high chair to say bye to Daddy. He stands at by the door as Dan puts on his boots, waving frantically and saying "bye Dadny" and then demands desperately to get into my arms and sit on the window sill where we can watch Dan leave the yard and walk down the back lane-way. All the while he's banging on the window, "bye Dadny!"

Looking for the ball

{five}

One of my personal favourites that Joseph is saying these days is "h'sat?" otherwise known as "what's that?" When the furnace comes on or a distant siren sounds or a snow plow goes by, his eyes get huge, his mouth drops open, and he asks me in a whisper type voice, "h'sat?"

{six}
Joseph has recently learned who the pope is and how to say his name. We have a little picture on our wall with both Pope Benedict and Blessed Pope John Paul in it. Joseph will look up at the picture, point, and say, "poe". But he also recognizes Pope Benedict whenever he sees his picture elsewhere too. Yesterday, just before we went out the door for morning Mass, I asked Joseph if he wanted to go see Father Tuyen (our priest and his friend). He got all excited, then looked up at the pictures of the popes, and asked, "poe?" Maybe someday, Joseph!

Balancing blocks, of course

{seven}

You've heard this one before! The universal word for animal: Emma. Since moving to Tisdale, Joseph has gone through serious Emma withdrawal. The couple times we visited again, he has been overjoyed to see his doggy friend. However, we've noticed that he likes nothing better than to boss Emma around. I guess he figures that everyone else tells him what to do, so he should have the pleasure of yelling at someone. Joseph's fixation with Emma has gotten to the point where every time he looks out the window, he says "Emma". Hopefully he'll grow out of Emma a bit so we don't have to name a future dog Emma too! 

Hanging out on Mommy and Daddy's bed

Funerals or Canonizations?

Becca, Joseph, and I just got back from my Uncle Lucien's funeral which took place Saturday in Regina. Uncle Lucien was also my godfather, though admittedly we never saw him much. He died from the dreaded Lou Gehrig's disease. I now know why it is so dreaded. It sure moves quickly.

And how was the funeral? Funeral? Oh yeah, we went to a funeral... The funeral was good, I guess. The funeral and prayers were held at Holy Family Parish in Regina. I will refrain from going into depth regarding the circle church, privation of beauty, missing tabernacle, female prayer service 'presider', gay couple sitting in the front, and so forth. I will, however, say that I was annoyed with the canonization ceremony.

For the record, Uncle Lucien endured a lot of suffering at the end of his life. As I've seen with many people, this end of life suffering turns out to be a great blessing in disguise. As far as I know, Uncle used this time of great hardship to prepare for death. To prepare for death is to above all receive and cherish the Sacraments, and pray like there's no tomorrow, quite literally.

Having said this, we need to pray for his soul. Heck, we need to pray for the souls of all those who die! I remember when Pope John Paul II died. It seemed like everyone was already proclaiming him a saint. Well I was talking with the ever wise Mr. John Paul Meenan of Our Lady Seat of Wisdom Academy. He almost shocked me when he came out and said that he would keep praying for the good Pope's soul until the Church declared JPII to be in heaven. What? But the Pope was so... so... holy! But good ol' "Mr. Meenan" went on to explain that nobody in the whole world has more responsibility than the Pope. One small mistake by the Pope can affect millions, or even billions of people. No, it's too great of a responsibility and burden being a Pope. It's too overwhelming. And so "Mr. Meenan" told us to pray for the repose of the soul of Pope John Paul II. Words of wisdom. They remind me of St. Monica, the holy mother of St. Augustine. Even St. Ambrose, the great Bishop of Milan, marveled at the faith of St. Monica. Yet, when St. Monica was dying she pleaded with those around her: "do not remember me in anything, except when at the altar of Our Lord." In other words: "[Pray for my soul!!! Especially at Mass!]" If St. Monica had this concern, how much more so should we?

And so this finally brings me back to Uncle Lucien's funeral weekend. It was indeed poignant to hear the differences between those "presiding" or preaching vs. the actual prayers of the Church.

"Presider" - "as he looks down on us from heaven."

Church prayer - We beseech you O Lord...

Eulogist - "as he's up there at the Pearly Gates right now..."

Church prayer - let us earnestly pray that our God, who is rich in mercy, will forgive our brother all his offenses and welcome him home to a place of peace and rest

Priest - "I know he's up there with Jesus right now..."

Church prayer - Drive far from this soul, we pray you, O Lord, all the powers of darkness

And so on and so forth.

Why do we canonize those who die? To make us feel better? Why is the funeral now referred to as a celebration of their life? To make us forget that purgatory and hell are still viable options for those who die?

I can just imagine Mr. Meenan's reaction if I told him this story. He'd mutter a few angry words about sin and prayer. He'd stammer something about the Last Things, and Aquinas' teaching on the nature of love. Then he'd go quietly to the Blessed Sacrament and pray for the soul of Uncle Lucien.

May the soul of Uncle Lucien,

and the souls of all the faithful departed, 

through the mercy of God, 

rest in peace.

Amen.