I came across recently an old piece I wrote for one of my teacher newsletters (back when I did prep coverage). It goes back nearly five years. Maybe you'll remember it. If not, enjoy!

* * *

What’s it really like being a teacher, you might ask? Imagine yourself as a cool celebrity. The kind who cannot go anywhere without being noticed. Well, teaching is a job for those who failed at real celebrity status, and so are desperately trying to get some of that pseudo-status. 

At the grocery store:

Child: “Look! It’s Mr. Millette!”

Mr. Millette: “Just uh getting some milk here to help my muscles out… *flexes slightly*… 2% for me.”

Child: “Wow!”

Next day at school, in front of the whole class:

Child: “I saw Mr. Millette at the grocery store yesterday buying milk!”

Rest of class: “Wow!”

Yep, Mr. Millette is pretty cool. He even drinks milk. I was thinking about just how cool I was to students one night. I couldn’t sleep because of it. That or I have a 4-month-old baby. Anyway, sleep wouldn’t come. Unfortunately, I had to spend the next day in Saskatoon with the family. While in Saskatoon our two-year-old John Paul, as two-year-olds do, picked the worst possible time to fill his diaper. Given where we were, I had to do a diaper change in the vehicle. I hunched over uncomfortably in the van. I dared not open the door since we were in a busy area of town, and didn't need any added attention (after all, you never know when a student might walk by). The van became a hot and sweaty box of tear inducing odour. I may or may not have passed out in the operation. But on we went. Tiredness is a funny thing. That is, you don't really feel like yourself. Whatever. I finished the diaper change. Back to our day’s adventures.

As we left one area of the city, we gave John Paul a bottle filled with juice. By the time we arrived at a restaurant we noticed his bottle was empty and John Paul was soaking wet! Arrgh. No change of clothes either. Whatever, it'll dry.

So, we went and ate. Afterwards we went to a mall to buy a few things and lounge around. When we got back to the van, we noticed John Paul was really wet. Like soaked. Even my wife, Becca, and I, who had carried him around a bit, were a little damp. What the heck! How much juice did he spill!?! This was crazy. Becca suggested I pull off his pants to let them dry. He could make the drive home in only his diaper. I started pulling his pants off. Curse his tight-fitting clothes! Those bodacious hips! Every time I kept pulling the pants down the diaper seemed to come down with them. I tried again. Same result. This was getting ridiculous. I looked over at my wife with a tired frustration. She looked at me with horror.

"He doesn't have a diaper on!" she screeched.

"What?!?"

My immediate thought was to ask why not, but then remembered I had changed him last, so there was only one thing I could say: "Well I put one on him! Don't ask me how it got off! Who did it?"

My wife didn't buy it. I guess it's come to the point where I'm that dad. The one who is so out of it that he forgets to put a diaper on a kid. So, we had pee all over us. We were even stepping in it. So what? John Paul ended up getting a brand-new pair of pants in the whole deal. And my wife... let's just say that if she ever forgets to put a diaper on a kid... I'll tease her to no end! So there! Yeah. Watch out. You'll be sorry you ever mocked one honest mistake.

Later that night I repeated to my wife the horror of the situation when I was changing him. The stench. The lack of oxygen. The uncomfortable positioning. I was a hero really. I didn't see her there changing him! How about a little sympathy here? To no avail. Apparently changing a diaper requires that the old one be, what's the word, changed for a new one. 

Details.

And, of course, the next day at school:

Child – “Mr. Millette your shoes are squeaky. Did you step on something wet and sticky?”

Mr. Millette – “Uh… yeah… must be just milk… 2 % you know.”

Child – “Wow!”

If they only knew the real Mr. Millette. Yes, the real me. Diapers and all.

Or even no diapers and all.

Fort Saskatchewan

Ever wonder what goes on in the minds of little children? I can't imagine. Hmm...

- - -

Hi, I'm Joseph. I'm five years old and I know lots of stuff. I also need to build things because then I will be just like my grandpa. But my mom and dad don't let me. They say I have to ask first.

So I asked my daddy if we could build a tree house together. He said he didn't think it would work. So I drew him a picture of it. There, how could this not work? I even drew all the materials we would need. Dad is pretty slow sometimes.

Dad said he didn't think my picture would work! So I thought it would be good to let him sleep on it. I asked him the next day. He said no. I asked him the next day. He said no. I asked him... (repeat 37x) the next day... He said MAYBE!!!

Good! So that means I'd better start building it. I asked John Paul to help me. He's a good helper. He does what I tell him to. But he's a little bit dumb. Here's a picture of him and me working. I'm a workerman. John Paul's trying to figure out how to put his helmet on.

So the next thing to do is to come up with an idea. Daddy says that we're not going to build a tree house, but a fort instead. Great! So I went out to build a fort! But daddy says we need logs from grandpa's farm first. I think daddy is just trying to not do it. Just like when mommy asks him to vacuum the house but he says he's busy.

Instead of waiting, I made a plan of the fort.

It's going to be pretty sweet. I wanted to start building with John Paul. So I asked dad again if we could start the fort. He said we needed logs. But John Paul and I can get some logs in our yard.

Daddy says we can't use those logs because their for fires. Mommy says we're in trouble because we're not supposed to have the ax and saw. Mommy says we can't have lots of stuff. Like daddy's drill. Daddy says we can't have lots of things, when mommy is around.

Well, on Sunday we went to grandpa's house! At grandpa's house John Paul and I helped daddy cut down trees in the yard! Even grandpa came out with his chainsaw! I think it looked something like this:

We then put them in grandpa's chick truck and later hauled them home in our van. I fell asleep on the way, but when I woke up everything was unloaded. Poor dad probably never worked so hard. Daddy said we couldn't build the fort until Wednesday.

The next day I asked dad if we could build the fort. He said it was Monday, and that he wouldn't until Wednesday. He then said it was raining and that he didn't want his tools to get wrecked. It rained all day! So when dad came home from school I asked him if we could build the fort now. He said no because it was Monday and that it was raining. Dad sure likes to repeat himself a lot. I think he forgets things a lot.

The next morning I asked dad if we could build the fort. He said no because it was Tuesday and it was raining. But he said we could build it tomorrow! So I asked dad when he got home from work if we could build the fort. He said tomorrow again. Oh well. I'll ask him later tonight...

It's WEDNESDAY!!! OH BOY! Daddy said he would be home right after school. I looked out the window as often as I could so that I wouldn't miss him coming home. After lunch I looked out a bunch more. And then... Daddy came home! He changed his clothes and got out his power tools and we started working! John Paul and I gave dad screws when he needed them, and told him where to put stuff. It was a pretty big deal. We were pretty tired doing it, but we didn't stop. I think it looked something like this:

Well we worked and worked and worked like crazy! Dad got a wood piece stuck in his hand, but he didn't stop! John Paul went pee a couple of times too. But after about fifteen minutes of the busiest work you ever saw, we were done! We sure were tired. Dad then took some of the left over logs and we had a fire and made hotdogs and roasted marshmallows! Wednesday was the best day ever! I like Wednesdays! Here is what our fort looks like!

Daddy took a couple pictures of us. So I guess here they are.

We have a door that goes up and down!

John Paul worked pretty good.

We built a spy hole in it so John Paul can see out of the fort. I'm tall so I don't need it. But.. just for fun... can you see me in the picture? Look carefully!

Dad brought a Saskatchewan flag out. So we call the fort: Fort Saskatchewan!

I can't wait for another Wednesday when we can build more!

- - -

"Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you"

- Luke 11:9.

Like father, like son

Like father, like son. Two of the finest to ever lace 'em up! Here we are in our rookie years.

Daddy Fans

I know, I know, it's like I've just dropped off the face of the blogging earth. Thankfully, whenever I do, Dan is there to pick up the slack. And that's why we share the blog, folks. 

I have so much mish-mash going on in my head and at least 3 different unfinished blog drafts behind the scenes over here that I'm not quite sure where to start and what to say. But this is perhaps my favourite thing going on here of late...

As you know, Dan had his "spring" break last week. The boys loved it. They were so excited to have Daddy home all day long. 

On occasion, Joseph will ask me, "Why does Daddy have to go back to school after lunch?" Meanwhile, John Paul goes nuts when Dan comes in the door for lunch every day. "Da, Da, Da!" he yells, trying desperately to spin himself around in his high chair to see his Daddy. John Paul is stinkin' mad if we don't get him out of his high chair promtly after lunch so that he can go to Daddy for a little bit before he leaves. We are so spoiled having him home in the middle of each day.

But nothing beats a week-long (or summer long) break.

Our boys are HUGE Daddy fans. 

Mommy is good to have around when you need something to eat, or need your diaper changed, or need a nap, but if you want to have FUN you really need Daddy.

It's not that Dan doesn't feed, change, or put kids to bed, either. It's just that these little boys don't seem to think of those necessities in life so long as they are busy with Daddy. It's only when they see me that their bellies start to growl. 

So last week was fun. The boys did lots and lots of their favourite things: make music, play Lego, do puzzles, build snow forts and slides, eat junk food, read books. All with Daddy.

In the morning when they got up, they were delighted to find that Daddy was eating oatmeal at home with us instead of leaving for work. After lunch, they were so happy to find that Daddy wasn't going back to work for the afternoon. 

John Paul refused to go down for decent naps because he knew there was so much fun being had behind his back. Or he would only go to sleep when completely exhausted and his Daddy rocked and sang to him.

Joseph was ticked off when he found out that Daddy had gone to the basement and worked out by himself while Joseph was napping. How dare he!

John Paul would groan and grouch if Joseph and Daddy were in the basement without him until I carried him over the gate and down the stairs. Then, he would put up a huge display when he entered the room to announce his arrival and demand their attention.

Joseph would wander around looking like a little lost doggy and whining about needing someone to help him build/fix/find Lego creations. Dan would go and spend an hour sitting on his bedroom floor with him making a fork-lift. 

John Paul would crawl around searching for Daddy and Joseph; finding they'd excluded him from their Lego fun, he'd bang on the door yelling at them until they let him in. Or he'd go to bed at night (with Mommy) only to elude sleep and emerge again, gloriously happy, to snack on apples with Daddy and Joseph.

Joseph would demand Daddy play "Try your best" on the organ or in the basement with drums. With much fanfare, Dan would pound out the song, with two little boys on accompanying vocals and much running and shouting, "Montreal Canadiens!" 

It was like this all week long. Whatever Daddy does, so too his boys. They had to tag along all week long. They are his biggest fans!

Here's a little video of some outside fun with our snow-slide: