GK Chesterton's cause for sainthood has met a major stumbling block. According to the Bishop of Northhampton, Most Reverend Peter Doyle:

“That conclusion is that I am unable to promote the cause of GK Chesterton for three reasons. Firstly, and most importantly, there is no local cult. Secondly, I have been unable to tease out a pattern of personal spirituality. And, thirdly, even allowing for the context of G K Chesterton’s time, the issue of anti-Semitism is a real obstacle particularly at this time in the United Kingdom.”

Ouch. 

Now if you have ever been to a Catholic college (as in non-Jesuit, but rather truly Catholic), you will be familiar with the Chesterton crowd. They will smoke cigars, quote pithy from GK, and meet at pubs to discuss intellectual topics (while smoking more cigars). “In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the cross can all fit..." they will add, as a smoke ring rises to the rafters. 

I'm not sure if these Chestertonians ever discuss how on earth GK's distributism theory would work. Do you force people to give up their land for the sake of re-distributism? It sounds more Leninist than Levitical. Or what about this issue of "anti-semitism"? And is there, if we're being perfectly honest, an appetite for GK to be named a saint because he loved to indulge in the finer pleasures of life? Food, cigars, ale... he's not exactly a proto-typical desert father, but possibly a dessert father. One we certainly can cling to and, dare we hope, even mirror our lives on. Smoke and mirrors indeed.

Needless to say, the Chesterton crowd had, and has, no appeal for me.

Oh, but I have nothing against GK Chesterton. Though not a fan of his novels, I can appreciate his witty style. The more I get to know him, possibly the more I will like him. A saint though? God only knows. But it seems his cause is going up in smoke.

Now, can we move on to more important issues? Like Tolkein, for instance...

Image taken from a First Things Article.

The Cave

The other day I came across a picture on the internet (and have not been able to find it since) which began with a picture of a man cave. The man cave was full of football memorabilia, lazy boy sofas, drinks, snacks, and of course the big screen TV. The picture stated something like we need less of this, and more of this.. it then showed a picture of a traditional study. You know the kind you'd read about. Beautiful shelves, office space, couches, a fireplace, some more sophisticated drinks, and lots and lots of books. Yes, it was a striking juxtaposition of the intellectual man vs. the man living for thrills.  It's either Plato's Cave, or the Man Cave. Which would you choose? 

I didn't find myself deeply attracted to either.

Let me get this straight. I'm wild about sports, and TVs, and snacks. I'm also wild about philosophy, theology, knowledge, truth, and THE FORMS (ba dumm.. ba dummm). But each one isolated from each other?

Let's look first at the new man cave. Sports everywhere. Flashy lights. Bells and whistles. Yet guys who talk sports everyday get too caught up in them. I know because I'm one of them. And it doesn't really matter how into the sport, or team, we are. I had a rousing discussion with a colleague of mine the other day about the Philadelphia Eagles offensive line. We discussed to merits of having a pulling centre, the importance of speed, and most pressingly, how Demarco Murray will fair with this o-line after coming over from the Cowboys. We could've gone on and on, but that dratted school bell rang, so we had to go teach something far less interesting than the dynamics of o-line footwork.

Yes, men and their sports. In Plato's cave, the sports guys would be the ones happily holed up deep down in the cave.

On the other hand, I can't see myself strictly as an intellectual study sort of person. I've actually seen these people! In real life! They all were in a little valley area roughly two hours from Ottawa. They would discuss books and poems. There would be fine alcohol, and pipes or cigars. Always pipes or cigars. Because Chesterton smoked, you know. Curse Chesterton. He may have had a sharp mind, but given the choice of having his body vs. the body of any athlete, why the heck would anyone choose to look like Chesterton? Not too intellectual, if you ask me.

And Flannery O'Connor. Oh the talk about Flannery O'Connor. "What an author that Flannery is! Only those who read, enjoy, love, and worship every word of Flannery's are real Catholics." I've read a grand total of two shorts stories by Flannery, all because I had no other choice. I vaguely remember something about someone stealing artificial limbs from people. And they were either hiding them in a tree house, or stealing them from the people while they were in a tree house so they couldn't get down. Stunningly brilliant. Amazing writer. Limbs of trees... and limbs in trees... Who could think of something like this? Besides every twisted 10 year old around...

I know, having an opinion on an author after having just read two short stories is like having an opinion on an o-line without watching every game they play. Nevertheless, all in all the atmosphere surrounding the intellectual study is just a little too stuffy for me. By all means discuss philosophy (which I love), and even poetry, but golly gee aren't men supposed to have a warrior's heart deep within? A desire to be a part of an epic battle? Something to fight for? Even just if it takes place on Sunday afternoons on TSN or Fox?

The ideal man, I think, should not be one or the other. He should be both. Every man cave should have books, and even a map. Even a cover for the TV. Every study should have a chin up bar, and a no smoking sign. Real men love God, books, and sports. We must feed the soul, mind, and body. Chesterson said that: “In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the cross can all fit..." Sorry GK, I say the pint, pigskin, and cross must all fit. Correct?

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

St. Chesterton? Patron of Lung Cancer Patients?

Yes it's true. Many in the Catholic world are all abuzz. G.K. Chesterton's cause is up for canonization! Or, rather, it has been approved to be receive some investigation. It's all very preliminary.

St. Chesterton? Or perhaps St. Gilbert? I can't quite wrap my head around it. For an excellent analysis on the subject *hint: don't read what I say* read Canada's resident Chestertonian wit Michael Coren, with his piece here.

I haven't read much of Chesterton. I have some of his books. What I have read of his I more or less enjoyed. My main point of contact with Chesterton is through others. And the quotes they attribute to him are downright legendary. I can only dream of being as witty as old G.K.

But there is one quote that I've always had a problem with though. That is:

“In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the Cross can all fit together.” 

Now I remember back in my days at the Academy, being surrounded by fellow Catholics who played hard and prayed hard. For many, it was good to stay up on the odd Friday night to celebrate (perhaps a finished midterm, or a saint's feast day, or a victory at the annual "Turkey Bowl"). But for many of these same students it was always important to get up for the 9am Saturday morning Mass. You see, the faith allows for a "pint" here and there, as long as it doesn't take us away from "the Cross," which truly is our life and salvation.

Now to be fair, my main point of contention is not with the balanced life Chesterton is promoting. It has more to do with "the pipe" (yes, I know, it's not the main argument that Chesterton is getting at).

Some of the Academy students I would hang out with on such a Friday night started getting in the habit of taking out the literal "pipe," or cigar. They would quote to me Chesterton's saying, and then proceed to smoke away. I can't stand any smoke, so it was usually good night for me (probably around 8:30pm anyway... way past my bedtime). Unfortunately, some of these people soon ended up pulling out the old pipe, or cigar, more frequently. "What! Chesterton never said they were so addicting!"

Nor did he say they could kill you...

You guessed it, I know several young people who eventually became addicted to cigarettes, and this addiction stemmed from their celebrating "the pipe." Actually, the following years after I left the Academy, apparently cigarette smoking became an epidemic. And I know darn well that the celebration of "the pipe" contributed largely to this.

Where am I going with this? I'm not here to knock Chesterton. Not too much anyway. He lived in an age when smoking was healthy, right? Even Fred Flintstone was created to sell cigarettes. The problem I have with the quote is that, knowing what we do today (medically speaking), smoking is extremely stupid. To dance with the addicting devil of smoking is not smart. Therefore, we should not take "the pipe" aspect literally. It should be more of a symbol for living a balanced Catholic life of feasting and fasting. Truth betold, we should just change the quote to: "In Catholicism, the pint, the weight bench, and the Cross can all fit together."

As for will there ever be a St. Chesterton, I have no idea. If there is, maybe he'll be the patron of lung cancer patients.

Oooh, harsh! Sorry Chesterton. But it is a little bit witty... and I think you would respect that.

And then probably say something to completely outwit me.


Pipe down G.K.