The Millette/Garez choir has arrived! We did the Sunday Mass yesterday, and are doing the Christmas day Mass tomorrow. Also on our busy schedule is the Mary Mother of God Mass on January 1st. We sure have started off with a bang! Or maybe more like a whimper. You see we all have colds. It's hard to sing with a cold. As soon as you move to elevate your voice you are greeted by snot and choking. I mean literal choking, not the "you sure blew that one!" kind of choking. We'll get by though. I'm just relieved to not have to listen to the regular St. Eugene's choir during those Masses (drums and 80 year old women and all). 

Singing in a choir is fun. It can be nerve wracking, but the important thing to remember is that it is just that, a choir. All that is expected of you is that you do your part. There is no sense in worrying about other people's parts. My part is simple: stand in the back and try not to sing too loud. I think they told me that because my beautiful voice overpowers the whole congregation with its radiance. What other reason could there be for me to sing quietly in the back?

I must say that when singing at Mass I really look forward to singing the more difficult, yet conversely more beautiful, songs. For instance, yesterday we sat around in the choir and sang our normal selection of songs and Mass parts (City of God, Sing a New Song, Let There Be Peace on Earth... just kidding, more like On Jordan's Bank, etc.), yet all the while I was looking forward to singing Adoramus Te Christe in three part harmony during the offertory (it would be four part, but neither Stephen and I are tenors). Once it came time to sing it I got a little nervous, but hey, I make a fool of myself in front of my class everyday, so what's the big deal! It's nice to make beautiful music, or try anyway. Besides, ultimately we sing for Jesus, and not for the entertainment of others. 

So hopefully Jesus won't mind the colds and snot. 

It might even keep us humble.

Our Saviour Comes

Recently I have been meditating (if you can call it that) on the Sacrament of Confession and the wonderful cleansing effect of grace poured into the soul of the confessee (is that even a word?). What a wonderful gift we have in this Sacrament!

Growing up we attended bi-yearly family day retreats at the Oratory of St Philip Neri in Toronto, one in Advent and one in Lent. I think it was there, under the direction of some of the most amazing priests I have ever met, that I truly came to value Confession. I would try to prepare myself very well for these confessions and make a more thorough examination than, say, my other confessions. And these priests would really, truly advise and feed my soul in the confessional. I felt clean when I left there.

Thankfully, I have finally completed my Advent confession now in preparation for Christmas. And, yep, feel clean... until some nasty comment or something gets the better of me. 

As I've been taking walks on the trail this past week with Joseph I have marveled at the continued presence of the hoarfrost on the trees. And, as I've taken these opportunities to try to make sense of my endless list of sins, I've looked at those trees and desired my soul to look the same. I want a snowy white spot inside where I can welcome the newborn Christ-child into my heart.

But time and again I feel as though my own sinfulness is overwhelming. When I haven't been to Confession in a long time, I feel as though there's so much muck in me that it's not worth sifting through. I have a burden that I'm carrying around: the burden of my own sinfulness, the weight of little things done that add up to become big.

I find that there are two stages of realizing the need for Confession. In the first, I feel like I should probably go, but convince myself that it's not such a big deal, hasn't been that long, or that I just don't want to. In the second, which comes after a longer time, I know I need to get to Confession and I want to, in order to rid myself of my own ugliness that I can't stand being around any longer. 

It is in these moments when I realize my own brokenness and inability to rise above my human weakness, that I am so grateful for the Sacrament of Confession. For the chance to make things right and know that God has forgiven me.

And as I looked at the Nativity in these days of Advent, I marvel that we have such a gift of forgiveness only because of a tiny little baby in the manger. Is it not the greatest gift that God took on our human nature to free us from our sinfulness? We are saved from our fallen human nature through the Incarnation and birth of a Saviour. What greater joy than to know the love of God in His Son whom He sent to redeem us!

O come, O come, Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel!

7 Snippets: Random

Another week has just flown by here. I'll just give you a few snippets:

{one}

Joseph has perfected the art of fake laughing. All day long he'll go around chatting to everyone and then promptly crinkle up his face and give a fake laugh. Then he'll laugh at his own joke. I tried to capture it on camera today, but this was as close as I got:

{two}

We've got our house! We move in sometime near the beginning of January. It's two blocks from the elementary school where Dan is teaching and far too big for the likes of us. With 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a finished basement you can all come and visit us -- once we have some furniture, that is. Yep, we still need to buy a bed and loads of other stuff to fill our little house.

{three}

When do kids learn to sleep through the night?! Or at least 4-5 hours in a row? We never get a good night's rest, ever. Maybe Joseph will be better in his own house? Maybe. I don't  even need to tell you that we're a little worn out and tired this week. And poor Dan's been getting up somewhere in the wee hours of 5:30am most days.

{four}

I just turned around from the computer to find that Joseph had taken my toiletries bag off the bed and emptied its contents on the floor. Deodorant, bobby pins, face wash, nail clippers... everywhere. He must have sensed something was coming because he immediately turned around with a grin and kindly offered me a bobby pin like he was doing me a favour. A few minutes later I turn around to find he's eating a sponge.

Just trying on Grandpa's reading glasses

{five}

 I can't believe that Advent is just flying by and Christmas is coming so quickly. Speaking of Advent, we haven't heard one song for this lovely season at Mass. Can you believe it? Not one "Oh Come Divine Messiah" or "O Come, O Come Emmanuel". I used to get tired of hearing the same old songs every week, but now I'm pining for them. We surely need a music revival in this diocese and not some kind of create-your-own-song event, but real, beautiful, and sacred music.

{six}

Joseph is starting to really pick up on the meaning of words and understanding what we're saying. This week Grandpa asked him nonchalantly if he wanted a bath. Immediately, Joseph's mouth formed an "oh" and he ran for the bathroom, a big grin on his face. We weren't planning on bathing him -- after all he has a bath almost every night! -- but his enthusiasm won out in the end.

Our little man has the most beautiful voice. He loves to sing at Mass and anywhere else too. The other day we were singing "Immaculate Mary" at Mass for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. I whispered to Joseph that he should sing too. He waited. And waited. Then when we were all finished the song, Joseph started singing his own song for Mary.

{seven}

We woke up yesterday morning to a winter thaw. Well, not really, but it sure felt warm out. The temperature went up to -12 degrees! We've had mornings recently of -30 with a high for the day of -22, without the wind. This sure ain't the place for wimps, I tell ya!

Hopefully we'll have some better photos for you next time. We haven't been too diligent in taking decent ones recently.

Formal v. Informal Education... Kind of...

As I continue in my baptism-by-fire teaching of grade one, perhaps the biggest shock for me has been the differences in teaching in a small-town Saskatchewan school vs. teaching in an Ontario city. Here are just a few observations:

1) Food - I remember when I was on my grade five practicum in Ontario I asked my associate teacher about the possibility of bringing in treats for the kids some day. She looked at me in horror! Noooo! Never!!! Why, what if something happened!!?! I may as well call the ambulances ahead of time if I were to give them a piece of candy! As for bringing snacks for kids who do not have any, or even allowing kids to share some of their lunches... perish the thought! That is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

So needless to say I was a little shocked when I saw some of the teachers in Tisdale using candy as a bribe, er, external motivator to encourage learning. I guess it's no big deal here.

2) Staff Room - So I go to the staff room for lunch in Tisdale and I start hearing about how Mrs. So-and-So's llamas and cows are doing. Then I hear a great discussion on the best way to cook moose meat. Following this, I hear a thoughtful talk on how the U.S. medical system, though scary for those without insurance, does have some good points that could be used in Canada. All the while there is no profanity or bashing of the principal.

Two things that stood out for me in all the staff rooms I was at in my Ontario schools was the swearing/gossip, and the talk about television shows. Oh my! T.V. T.V. T.V.!!! Maybe this was because so many people I worked with in the Ontario schools were not yet married, and thus had too much free time at night. Sounds reasonable.

3) Discipline - There are some students of mine that give me trouble. I don't back down though. I can be pretty hard on them if they keep asking for it. I was thinking the other day though: "maybe I'm too hard on this kid..." So I asked my principal about this particular student (the principal teaches my class art and gym). The principal promptly responded: "yeah, that kid bugs me sometimes... I told him to shut-up yesterday..."
Oh. Never mind.

In Ontario I noticed more of an emphasis on passing troubled students off to the principal or vice-principal. In Tisdale I notice that the teachers are more-empowered to "let the kids have it" if they deserve it. On one hand that means more responsibility for the teacher. On the other hand, let's face it, it's nice to have more freedom in keeping students in line.

But lest you think my class is rough and tough with lots of screaming. No! It's actually a happy little classroom (with the occasional grade one meltdown, of course).

4) Technology/Money - Here Ontario hands down has an advantage. In Tisdale I have to try and book the computer lab in competition with many many many other classes. I like the computer lab. I take my students for 40 minute chunks and they learn, at their own pace, with great phonics and math games. They like it. I like it. Most importantly I find they really learn while there. However, it is a pain in the butt to try and book that lab. It's always full!

In Ontario there are mega huge computer labs. There are smartboards, with all the latest smartboard gadgets, in every classroom (that'd be awesome). There are laptop carts. There is just about everything you could hope for. On the contrary, yes, believe or not, in Tisdale we still do this:

5) Locked Doors - *Note, I was going to write about this even before the tragedy of yesterday occurred* 

If you want to get into a school in Ontario you have to go to the front door and buzz the secretary. She then has to push a button which temporarily unlocks the door. You then have to go straight to the office and report why you're there, fill out some paper work, and wear a visitor sticker on your shirt. I remember telling the teachers and staff at the schools I was in that this procedure seemed kind of stupid. I said that if someone really wanted to get in with a gun, he'd really have nothing to stop him from doing so. Sadly yesterday we found out, in a most horrible and tragic manner, that there truly is nothing to stop a killer from getting in. The NewTown Connecticut elementary school had just installed the locked-doors system two weeks ago. The latest reports are that the gunman forced his way into the school, before then carrying on with his murder rampage on the staff and young students. Horrible! It's a terrible way for me to have to make a point, but I'll repeat what I said while I was at Ontario schools: locking the doors is not going to stop someone from coming in with a gun if they want to. It just won't. Do I have answers for this? No. I'm just criticizing without answers. Very poor, I know.

In Tisdale the doors are all unlocked, all day. There is no paperwork to fill out if you are visiting the school. You go in, say hi to the secretary, and then go where you need to go. It's probably about as safe as an Ontario school. I think the locked doors system is more about making people feel safe.


That's a brief rundown on some of the differences I've noticed. Each system has its perks and pains. Oh well. I must say that I enjoy the more informal atmosphere in Tisdale. But then again, I never was very formal.

Filiparty

There was hope a few years back. The near-dead parish of St. Eugene's, Nipawin, SK, started seeing a boost in Mass attendance. "Wow!" the self-proclaimed Nipawin liturgists must have thought, "our seventies folk/hippie-liturgies must really be bringing in the people!" "Outtasight!"

The reality was, however, that Nipawin was being invaded by immigrants from the Philippines. As they came we started to hear so many stories about the great faith of this Asian country. We heard about their martyrs. We heard about the seemingly endless number of baptisms that a priest in the Philippines would have to perform each Sunday (in some cases 300+ a day). The churches? Full past capacity. The seminaries? Full also. It seems that Nipawin was in for a much needed spiritual boost. It wasn't long after the initial wave of immigrants arrived that Nipawin was assigned a Filipino priest. "Hey" we all thought, "they could start a Filipino choir, and even have a Filipino Mass from time to time!" What exciting times. Finally a secular, materialistic, and empty society could encounter some real faith!

How does the song go?

The sun came up,
and the world turned around,
but I saw right through it,
it will go back down...

Hope and Ruin...

It just wasn't to be. We soon realized the truth. The sad truth. And nothing but the sad truth. They're no better than the rest of us. Original Sin did not spare the Philippines. We all are quite messed up.

We soon noticed a trend with the Filipinos. They were always getting together. Hey, no problem with that. Well, they were always getting together to party. Party. Party. Party. They got together and partied like everday was Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

Manny Pacquia fight? Party!

A child's 3rd birthday? Party!

A new fence? Party!

Parish fall supper? Skip it and go have a party elsewhere!

Yesterday during a special noon Mass in honour of the Immaculate Conception Becca and I kept hearing laughing and screaming during Mass. It turns out that a Filipino contingent was busy decorating the basement of the church for a special Filipino party to be held later in the day.

Serves us right.

A Filipino Mall

It's too easy to simply hope that a group of people will arrive and turn things around for you. What were we thinking? Life doesn't generally work like that. If you want faith where you are then you'd better lead the charge. Need a saint in your area? Well... what are you waiting for? (What am I waiting for?)

I think of the words of, I think it was, St. Theresa of Avila. She said that you are to find love wherever you go. If you do not find love there... then put love there, and then you will find it. And did not St. Paul say that we are no longer Greek or Jew, servant or free... Filipino or Canadian... we're all in Christ.

So there continues to be little or no faith around St. Eugene's in Nipawin, or pretty well the whole diocese of Prince Albert for that matter. No sense in complaining about it. I guess we should do something about it.

It won't be easy.

But if it's successful, can you imagine the party we'll have in heaven someday?

Happy Days

I'm sorry you don't hear much from us these days. Truth be told, Dan is the better and more dedicated blogger and since he's now working long days, our blog has suffered.

Joseph's favourite pastime: taking everything out of all the drawers and cupboards

The grade ones are getting used to their new teacher and it seems like they even like him. Well, of course they like him! Dan's been bringing in different instruments to play music with them. They've been singing their ABC's to accordion music and discovered their new favourite song is the "Pirate Song" on guitar by Mr Millette. They've even learned a thing of two about discipline which, it seems, they never learned before -- you know, the word "no". It's still a challenge for Dan, but it seems to be getting a little easier. Between dealing with many kids with behavioral problems and teaching a grade he never remotely expected (or learned) to teach, he's doing a wonderful job!

Much of a belly? Ha! It's really just the angle

 We've become house hunters too! We're hoping to find a rental house in Tisdale at least until July when Dan's position is finished. Whether we continue on there with a contract position or move on elsewhere is yet to be decided. Now, while houses seem to be within our price range and decent, we have two major issues. One: We have no furniture! I mean NO furniture. So, if you have any leads on free and/or cheap stuff, we'd love it! Maybe I should add, we can't coming to Ontario to pick it up (much as we'd love the trip)! Two: Despite being excited about the possibility of having our own place, we'd dearly miss the Nipawin grandparents! Joseph and I would be bored. I wouldn't be able to get him excited first thing in the morning by saying, "let's go see Grandpa" or after changing him, "go give Grandma a kiss". They've already told us that they would visit a lot -- you know, take every coffee date, lunch outing, or drive in Tisdale -- and that we'd have to come back once a week, so I could make bread for them.

Tub time -- I can't believe how grown up he looks!

This morning Joseph discovered his shadow. It was so very funny! I was putting laundry in the wash, which he usually helps me with, handing me each item. But Joseph was busy. I couldn't figure out why he was standing in front of a shelf staring at the floor and then it hit me! He walked slowly forward, examining his progress, then backed up, gazing at the ground. He turned around and walked the other way, looking behind him at the dark little outline. Then he got down on his hands and knees and crawled. He was so immersed in his findings that I startled him when I called him after a few minutes, and he ran down the hall away from his shadow.  

No More Letters, Please

There is a New Evangelization in the Catholic Church! Yesiree, the Bishops of Canada have picked up the cause originally instituted by Pope John Paul II many many years ago. A New Evangelization! How nice! Say it to yourself slowly: "The New Evangelization." What a nice ring! Golly I feel like dancing!

What is this New Evangelization? How will it work? What is its actual meaning? No one really knows, but to begin, it means that if you're a bishop then you write a letter. Write letters to be read in church. Write letters to sit on the CCCB website for all staff members to proudly glance at. Then, wait two weeks and write more letters. The letters should talk about how there is to be a New Evangelization. "But wait!" you say, "don't the bishops already write letters all the time? How is this a New Evangelization?" Yes, bishops do write letters, but this time the letters will have the words "New Evangelization" in them, ergo they will be newer and surely to be listened to with the same ardour as a cloistered nun doing her daily lectio divina. The New Evangelization means that new churches will have to be built to house the throngs of people who return to church. The diocese coffers will soon overflow with new tithes. Heck, if all goes well then a diocese-wide theme song... no, wait, a Canada-wide theme song with both French and English verses... could be created and sung at every liturgy in the country. What unity! What New Evangelizing! The Spirit is a movin'!

Ok. 

Enough. 

Stop. 

No more silliness. 

The irony is too much for me. That is, how do you expect a New Evangelization by using the same old tried-tested-and-failed methods? More letters to be read in churches? More CCCB publications to be ignored? Can you blame people for ignoring them? And anyway, the best publications the bishops come out with are the ones that essentially reaffirm a teaching from an encyclical, to which the faithful laity says "but we already knew that, because we just read the actual encyclical instead..." I don't mean to put down all the bishops in Canada here. The Lord knows just how faithful and courageous good bishops such as Mulhall of Pembroke and Archbishop Prendergast of Ottawa have been for the Canadian Church. I speak of the same old tired antics of the CCCB and its old boys club. You know, the ones that stand by D&P at every step.

The more I hear the words "New Evangelization" beings spewed from countless letters, the more I wonder what it actually means. Right now it is only words. Empty words. No substance. Nothing to sink your teeth in, so to speak.

But now I propose a true New Evangelization. Why not use methods of evangelizing that actually work? Now that would be new indeed. How about seeing bishops praying in front of abortion clinics weekly or, if possible, daily? How about seeing a mandated increase of Eucharistic adoration in each parish? How about teaching priests how to say the Mass properly without making up half the words? You know, "save the liturgy, save the world" as Fr. Z. always says. How about taking an actual stand on those who wish to have their child baptized while the parents never go to church, and have no intention of ever going to church? How about shutting down D&P and all other "Catholic" organizations that are not actually Catholic? How about mandating that seminarians learn Latin and study the works of Aquinas (as Canon Law commands) or even take up such pious practices as wearing cassocks? How about having priests wear their collars, and thus be a visible sign of their sacred calling? How about... how about... 

How about just living the faith.

Perhaps the greatest evangelist in the history of the Church was St. Francis of Assisi. St. Francis simply lived the Gospel. He preached the Gospel with his life, not with letters. We're tired of letters. They don't mean anything to anyone anymore. Please, no more letters. 

No more letters for us. 

Now that would be a New Evangelization.