Graces of State

I don't think I ever really believed in what Catholics call "grace of state" until I became a mom. If you're Catholic then you know what I'm talking about. We use the term "grace of state" when we mean that God provides the graces necessary to deal with whatever we need to deal with in our particular state in life. Of course, in order to cash in on this special grace we have to been in tune with the Church's modes of providing grace (i.e. the Sacraments). But for some reason I could never really see this grace at work in my life until Joseph's birth.

I'm sure that as a university student God certainly provided me with a whole lot of grace. And during my sometimes agonizing (okay, I exaggerate a little) discernment process of what to do with my life and whether to marry, there was certainly lots of grace. But it's never so evident as when you're a parent.

That parents with young children survive day after day, month after month on very little sleep or being woken up multiple times per night must be a proof for God's providential grace of state. There is no way I could have done it as a university student. Not to say that I don't still complain when I'm woken up several times a night, but I'm almost positive that in my pre-motherhood days I actually would have snapped completely. 

In addition, this special grace is so particular -- not just "grace for mothers," "grace for fathers," etc -- that we are provided with grace to have patience with our particular child or our particular spouse. Often I think, there's no way I could be married to so and so or be a mother to that child, I wonder how his wife/her parent does it. But that's just the point. Grace of state is particular to my own state in life. 

Dan and I will sometimes compare our days and marvel at how the other deals with their daily tasks. Dan is finishing his first full week teaching a rowdy, misbehaving, set-back group of 21 grade one students. I can't imagine being in his shoes -- having the daunting task of teaching all those kids to read and write, dealing with their awful parents, and spending 45 min driving each way getting to work. I tell him how what he's doing is amazing! But he'll simply reply that I'm just as busy caring for Joseph every day, all day long. Yeah, but this isn't work. Well, it is. But it's work that is fitted to my state in life, as a mother.

It's an encouraging thought that when Christ told St Paul "my grace is sufficient" He really meant it. That means that we each have enough grace for our state in life -- as a mother/father, wife/husband, student/teacher -- at this moment. It means that I don't have to be worried that I can't handle 4 young children at one time or that I'm scared of having teenage children. I don't have 4 children. I don't have any teenagers. If and when I ever do, God will provide the grace necessary. And that is an encouraging thought.