Today Becca and I were talking about how the weather in Ontario was a muggy 35 degrees, with a humidity that pushed it into the 40s. We both commented how we'd gladly take the sunny and dry 25 degrees here in Nipawin. This was one of those times when we actually agreed on something in relation to Ontario/Saskatchewan.
Usually we have, given our many university degrees, intelligent debates over the merits of each province.
"There's nothing to do in Saskatchewan."
"Oh yeah, well everyone in Ontario is gay..."
"I'm gonna hit you!"
"Bully!... Ouch!"
Of course there's lots to do in Saskatchewan, and not everyone in Ontario is gay. But our dialogues sometimes demonstrate some of the differences between our two home provinces. I've lived in both provinces a fair bit, and have seen first hand the many quirks and perks of each place. And so, although not an exhaustive list, I offer you:
My Top 10 Differences Between Ontario and Saskatchewan.
10. Weather - Well this is a thunderous start. As mentioned earlier, Ontario is humid. Like I mean humid. Like I mean it is stupid hot out there! The typical Saskatchewanian dies of heat when out in Ontario. We're just not used to it. On the other hand, Saskatchewan is cold, very cold. But, as we say, "it's a dry cold." And it only lasts for about 8-9 months. This past winter in Southern Ontario..., wait, that's an oxymoron. There was no winter. That's right, there was no snow that stayed beyond a few days. Take your pick. Do you like hot hot summers and mild winters, or cold winters with mild summers?
9. Salt - Following from the weather, in Ontario if a single snowflake is seen then an automatic alarm sounds off throughout the city. Legions of heavy trucks come rolling out of secret garages arranged strategically throughout the streets. Their mission: Salt the heck out of the roads.
My poor van. I cry for all the rust that must be building underneath it.
People are often shocked when I tell them we don't really salt the road in Saskatchewan. "Why not!?!" It's a little thing called
freezing point depression. Salt will only work to melt ice up to a certain temperature. In ideal lab conditions that temperature might be as high as 20C below. In practicality, the temperature has to be under 10C below for salt to work at melting ice on the roads. "*Gasp* So what do you do?"
We drive trucks like these, of course:
Keep in mind, though, that there are no insane 401 or 403 highways in Saskatchewan. So the chance of a 1000 car winter pileup isn't that great. You just have to watch out for the occasional cow on the road.
8. Milk Cartons/Bags - In Ontario milk bags are used. The bags are then carefully recycled. In Saskatchewan we use cartons. And then we go outside and burn the cartons when we're done.
I never liked milk bags, though mainly because they hold only slightly more than a litre, which means you have to change them all the time.
7. Tim Hortons/Co-op - Sorry, I've never seen a Co-op in Ontario, though I'm told they exist there. Yep, out here if it weren't for the Co-op, well my goodness how else could you get one 2x4x12 spruce delivered to your house with no delivery charge? The Co-op is our staple.
The staple in Ontario? Tim Hortons of course.
Yes, we love Timmies all across this country, but I personally know that on Upper James Street in Hamilton you cannot walk around without seeing at least one, but usually two or three, Tim Hortons. And all of them are full, always.
Maybe people in Ontario don't know how to make coffee on their own?
Maybe people in Saskatchewan don't know how to load a stupid 2x4 onto their own truck and take it to their house instead of bugging the boys at the Co-op?
6. Joking Around - Thanks to the hit show Corner Gas, people in Ontario got a flavour of the sarcasm/joking around of the prairies. We like to joke around, and laugh at ourselves. I was quite struck by how my sarcasm was seen as hurtful when I first went to Ontario.
"Why would he say something so hurtful?..."
(Ok, that too is a line from Corner Gas).
Anyway, I've noticed a big difference between the two provinces when it comes to humour.
Case in point:
That's Weston Dressler, star receiver for the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Last year they introduced All Dressler Chips. They were all-dressed, all-Dressler chips. This year? Undressler Chips! They're plain chips, and he's undressed on the cover. It's funny!!!! Really!!!
5. Busy-ness - This one goes along the lines of "there's nothing to do in Saskatchewan." It's a laid back, slow-pace, beautiful way of life. Neil Young best captures it in his song "It's a Dream."
Ontario is busy. I'll never understand why people drive 2-4 hours a day on the country's busiest highways to go to work. Or build cabins along every possible square inch of land next to a lake. I shouldn't laugh though, Saskatchewan grew by 25,000 people last year, so maybe now I'll have to pass a car on the way to town or something.
4. Churches - Hands down Ontario beats Saskatchewan in this department. Our churches out west, with very few exceptions, are ugly boxes, or ugly circle boxes. Now I admire the pioneers who built them. I couldn't imagine having to build a church and break in farm land at the same time. There is a humbleness about them. But... I mean really... I wouldn't mind at least some nice churches. Ontario, on the other hand, has many gorgeous old churches. My favourite is none other than St. Hedwig's in Barry's Bay, ON.
In reality though, I think Ontario and Saskatchewan are probably even in terms of churches built from 1960-present. It's not that Saskatchewan is catching up, it's more that Ontario is slipping in the beautiful church department.
3. Hats/Toques - In Ontario, when it is snowing out, you will hear "oh, I have to put a hat on." Oh?
Or you have a new toque on and someone will say "nice hat!"
You think to yourself: "but I'm not wearing a hat..." but then realize that they just called your toque a hat. So what, I asked Becca, do you call actual hats? She said they're called hats too. Hmm.
It's similar to how in Texas they call every pop, or soda if you will, a coke.
"Hi, can I have a coke?"
"Sure, what kind?"
"Orange."
Yeah, I don't get it either.
2. People - Now before I begin, I must say that I know some incredible people in Ontario. They are the best of friends. On the other hand, I know some huge jerks in Saskatchewan. Ok, fair?
But the fact is that what makes Saskatchewan so different from Ontario is, generally speaking, the people. I'm talking the down to earth every day small town folk.
I remember moving to Barry's Bay back in 2004 and being shocked at how hardly anyone said hello on the street. In Southern Ontario, it's a very individualstic mentality where people hang out in their own world, and then hole up in their enormous house. Again, this is in general, and there are, thankfully, some great people in Ontario.
Yes, it is a stereotype, but there's still something to be said for small-town hospitality and an overall sense of morality. For instance, I remember at the Co-op a few years back during a coffee break. There were about eight of us there, and some of the guys were pretty rough characters. Anyway, someone mentioned a story about a guy who killed his pregnant girlfriend. One guy piped up: "he should be charged with double murder," to which all of the guys quickly agreed.
There is a more down to earth feel in many ways. I hope as this province grows we don't lose it.
And, for the third time lest I offend anyone, THERE ARE MANY GREAT PEOPLE IN ONTARIO!
The final, and most obvious difference is......
1.
Bunnyhugs/Hoodies, of course!
What's a bunnyhug?
Boy was I shocked to find out that Ontario people don't call these things bunnyhugs. But I wasn't as shocked as they were to find out that I just call it a bunnyhug. They made fun of me for it!
"awww, you hug a bunny..."
Whatever, go put on your "hoodie-woodie."
We wear bunnyhugs, and we're proud of it.